


Ohm Nohm Nohm

by ALPHAwolf



Category: Death Note
Genre: Bottom Light, M/M, PWP, Top L, Voyeurism by Ryuk who has no boundaries, shitty creation of boredom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 07:31:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7748731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a crappy excuse for LXLight porn I did when I was bored :/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ohm Nohm Nohm

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the meme Ohm Nohm by TSUGUMIOHBA TAKESHIOBATA :D Characters are not mine. I'm warning you it is a SHITTY excuse for porn.

The light of the computer screen illuminated Light's serious expression as he looked over information and typed down notes on the Kira case meaninglessly. Attached to him by a silver handcuff and chain, L sat in his odd perched position on the other side of the bed eating a sweet confectionary, his wide eyes fixed on the delicious cake.

The only sound in the room was that of L shoving cake in his mouth and the 'tack tack tic' of the computer keys as they were hit. For a moment the sound of L eating messily stopped, not that Light notice the wide obsidian eyes staring at him or the absence of L's loud chewing.

Suddenly, Light found himself pushed down onto the bed, L on top of him, his laptop falling from his lap.

"H-hey! Ryuzaki what the he-!Waaah!" L began to push his body down against Light, his face in the blonde’s hair doing... something. Light flailed about and L held him still, his tongue making contact with Light's ear, the younger gasping in surprise. There was a bright blush on the boy’s face and he began to gasp, becoming more difficult for him to breath due to L's actions.

Suddenly he was off him, and sat back where he had been as though nothing had occurred. Light lay in shock. So one minute he wanted to rape him and then next he didn't care, what gives?

"W-wha?" Light surprisingly sounded disappointed L had stopped. He sat up, looking confused at the ravenette, a blush still gracing his features and his chest heaving slightly.

"My apologies Light-kun, my cake flung into your hair." Light stared back at the panda eyes detective in disbelief.

"Y-you did that, for cake?" L nodded, smiling innocently at the confused hot expression Light made.

"Why do you seem so dejected? Are you upset I stopped?" L asked, curious.

"No!" He sat up quickly and grabbed his laptop, avoiding any further eye contact with the obsidian eyed man. His cheeks still burned, the laptop unfortunately illuminating him further, but doing its job covering his erection. He blamed this result on his insatiable teenage hormones.

 

§

 

Tick tac tick tick tac tick tac~

Lights hands danced across the keyboard like every other person in the room. The team on the Kira case were hard at work trying to find anything that could help to catch the serial killer. Light, being the first part of said serial killer, was only half-heartedly working, typing down any information that would make it less likely he was Kira. After all, L didn't even know how Kira killed its victims really. Even if L knew it was Light he couldn't prove anything. Still, it was quite amazing, how L knew Light was the killer, just by looking at him. Annoying, but rather impressive. A genius that rivalled Light's own, though of course Light would come out on top. He would create the perfect world, ruling over all the good, as evil would no longer exist thanks to him.

It was a shame, that L wouldn't be able to enjoy this perfect world with him. He'd grown quite accustom to the others presence, like a pet, though L wasn't like a cat or a dog... Maybe a panda? Light didn't even think you could keep those as pets. Wouldn't it be funny, in his new perfect world, to have L as a pet? An image of L eating bamboo beside his thrown wearing a collar made him chuckle. The image suddenly changed, L by his throne in barely anything but tight leather pants and black collar with the lead held by Light, the thin detective looking extremely lude and seductive, Light might add. His cheeks reddened and Light was left shocked by his own imagination. Damn teenage hormones.

He quickly shoved all thoughts of L away, though it was hard since the other was sitting only a meter behind him. He instead focused on his work, which was easy till L decided it was lunch break and they went up to that monitored lounge room with Watari for a snack.

Light sat still on the couch, looking sideways at L as he recalled the detective jumping him the night before, in order to retrieve cake. Damn insomniac with those giant innocent eyes thinking he can get away with fucking anything as long as cakes involved. Another dirty thought appeared in Lights head and he looked away at the wall to avoid his blush being spotted.

"LLIIIGHTT-KUUNN!!!!" Oh dear God. The door flung open to reveal the gothic, prostitute resembling Misa. "Misa-Misa came to see you!" Misa glomped Light and he had to fight not to cringe from the overwhelming smell of sweet perfume. She sloppily kissed his cheek.

"Hello Misa." L greeted, unaffected by the girl’s loud entrance.

"Elll! Give me and Light private time!"

"I'm sorry Misa but you know I cannot do that." Light didn't argue.

"But Misa-Misa came to offer Light-kun her body..." The comment took Light a little off guard.

"In that case sir," Watari pitched in, "Would you like me to fetch one of your little 'sweets' and perhaps you can both have some time apart?" L gave Watari the dirtiest look he'd ever seen from the other.

"No thank you, that'll be all Watari." Watari nodded and retreated to the corner with a smug smile. Light hid his curiosity from the comment and instead payed attention to Misa.

"Thank you for the offer Misa, but L needs to keep surveillance over me and I prefer he didn't watch us."

"So you admit you need surveillance, Light-kun? Is that a confession?" Light sighed.

"No L, I only need surveillance to put you at peace."

"Put me at peace? So you allow me to surveillance you so you can kill me?" L asked intrigued. Light groaned.

"That's not what I meant."

"Why is Light-kun not paying attention to Misa!? It's not L and Light's date it's Misa and Light's date! Eh, Light-kun are you feeling unwell you've gone all red!" Light groaned. These two really were too much for his remaining sanity to handle.

Eventually Misa left and lunch break ended. Light was again left to his thoughts in the force's work room, staring into the screen and catching L's reflection in the dark patches in his computer desktop. He deliberately left a black note app open on the screen corner to see L from the back. He convinced himself it was just to make sure the other wasn't staring at him. Never mind the fact that was exactly what he was doing.

Finally L decided thirteen house of work was sufficient and all were given permission to retire for the night.

Many groaned and stretched while yawning, saying how they would go straight to bed, but Light instead felt it was high time he showered. At the time he hadn't realized that would mean taking L in with him.

The two stripped, facing away from one another in the bathroom. L momentarily undid his own cuff to slip their shirts off, but other than that they stayed connected. Light did his best to avoid looking at the other man, he really did, but his eyes travelled as they stepped in the shower and Light caught a glimpse of L's thin long body, creamy skin, and slight muscles. The muscle part was a surprise, but Light supposed he needed something in order to play tennis and pick a fight with him.

The two were in the middle of shampooing their separate hair when Light decided to break the silence with a question that had been nagging at him half the day.

"Ryuzaki, what did Watari mean by call you one of your 'little sweets'?" L was quiet a moment thinking how to answer.

"My little sweets... are women I sleep with. Not prostitutes but rather more like girlfriends or lovers that all know about one another."

"Y-you have girlfriends?" Light tried not to sound too shocked.

"Mmn," L responded, "I call them all nicknames to what sweet they resemble."

"H-how many do you have?" Light asked washing the suds from his hair.

"Nine." Light opened his eyes in shock and suds got all in them. He hissed and washed his eyes immediately.

"H-How many!?"

"Nine."

"Who are they?"

"Candy Cane, the daughter of the Italian yakuza leader; Candy Apple, an anime shop assistant; Candy Strip, a rich lesbian'; Pocky, a mechanic; Chocoda, a cafe waitress; Vianetta, a maid from my house in London; Caramel, a wealthy club owner’s daughter; Sherbet, a basketballer; and Sugar, the daughter of a Japanese politician." Light had frozen, all energy converted to trying to process the information L had just bombarded him with.

"You have a lesbian girlfriend?" He asked shocked, and L nodded. "A-and they all know about one another?" Light asked eventually, turning slightly to see the back of L's head and creamy smooth shoulders. His usual bird nest hair was flat and wet. Like that it reached down slightly past his perfectly sculpted shoulders.

L nodded and switched off the water.

Light quickly turned back to face the wall with a tint of pink in his cheeks. The two got out and wrapped themselves in towels before leaving the bathroom and coming into the bedroom.

"I had no idea you even had a sex life." Light said out of the blue. L chuckled momentarily.

"In all honesty, I'm extremely skilled in bed." Light couldn't contain his disbelief and giggled, a soft 'hyuk hyuk' could be heard behind him, though L wouldn't hear the Shinigami of course, he couldn't even see him. "You don't believe me Light-kun?" L asked turning to face the other. He was standing straight, almost a whole head taller than Light and actually had a more sculpted frame than Light had first thought from his earlier glance. The blond gulped, his cheeks reddening from the sight of L's unexpectedly-flat-without-ribs-poking-out torso. Their faces came closer. Was this another mind game? If so how was Light to win?

"N-nup, your too scrawny and up yourself, you'd probably brea-mnnm" As their lips connected Light couldn't help surrendering. L's lips moved slowly and expertly, like they'd done this dance a hundred times and knew all the moves. A smooth arm wrapped around Light's tan bare waist, pulling him closer. There was nothing but loosely tied towels between their lower bodies. The kiss grew fierce and Light felt limp, allowing L to support and hold him as the kisses he gave turned Light's brain to moosh. He didn't even care Ryuk was watching with a shocked and confused, terrifying expression, his head twisted upside down and mouth wide open. He'd remember to give him an apple later.

L's tongue slipped into Lights mouth, and he automatically wrapped his arms around L's neck, his hand getting lost in the others clean and smooth ebony locks. L's mouth was like lukewarm sugar, but thankfully not as sweet as all the treacle like food L ate. Light couldn't even fight L's tongue with his own he was in such a mess, enjoying the taste.

L smiled as he felt Light's erection against his leg, which the other had himself pressed firmly against. L sucked Light's tongue softly before pulling away. The younger was left panting, his lips wet and his cheeks red. His eyes were slightly hazy as he stared back at the other.

"Have I proved my point Light-kun?" He asked softly. Light shook his head.

"'M hard-your fault- take- responsibility." He said between breaths.

"Very well." L's lips descended on his neck, kissing softly while his hands slipped to Light's hips under his towel and slipped the offending object off. The cool of the room hit his ass and he shivered.

"Cold." L nodded and picked Light up, who wrapping his legs around the others waist and clung tighter as he was put down onto the bed, laid out on his back. L's own towel was lost in the journey over and the sheets were pulled up to conceal them both. L kissed him softly and climbed on top as Light's heart pounded, his body showing it's obvious want by his erect nipples and member, which was practically weeping. And L hadn't even done that much.

The detectives mouth travelled to his erect nipples and licked softly before suddenly biting at the sound of Light's moan. It didn't hurt, but the shock made him yelp and arch his body. L licked again and started to circle the other with his finger. He suddenly flicked it, causing Light to gasp breathlessly. Just a flick and L had put him on the verge of orgasming.

L's hands and lips travelled down between Lights thighs, his hands running over his legs as he kissed and licked around his erection. He smiled and gave Light a long lick, straight from his balls to the head.

"Ha-ahh-" The blonde’s hands found L's hair again and gripped on as the dark-haired male licked his dick like an ice-cream, before sucking him in like a lollypop.

"Ahh-haa-nnnm-!" L took the entire of Light in his mouth and sucked gently, licking the head exactly like he would one of his lollypop's.

Ryuk watched concerned as Light's extension was eaten. Yet he was pulling the other closer even though he seemed to be in pain?

"E-EL~!Ha-ahh-mnn-moore-" Humans were so confusing and entertaining. Calling one’s arch enemies name and asking him to eat you more just seemed so foreign a concept to him.

L moved down to Light's ass and lifted the other slightly, poking his tongue in the others tight virgin hole. Light wriggled from the odd sensation as L moved his slippery organ around inside him. L pulled away and replaced his tongue with his long fingers as Light scrunched up his face, the long spider like digit slipped inside him.

He squirmed as a second was added, and hissed at the third. The sting faded within a moment as L's three fingers expertly stretched him. The dark-haired foreigner's lips graced his cheekbone, his tongue then sliding down to Light's ear before he softly bit his earlobe.

"N-!mm-haah-" L's fingers retreated and they began to move against each other, grinding their erections together softly.

"Light-kun~," L's voice was like the sweet honey he ate, "Can I?" He asked innocently, pressing his erections head on Light's entrance. The boy nodded while biting his lip, trying not to make odd noises.

L put his face into Lights hair and slowly pushed in. He was being so slow, yet the teen could still feel the sting of being stretched, though he really didn't care since one of L's hands was holding his face lovingly while the other gave him a hand job.

"Haa-ahh-E-Eaaa-nnnmmha-" Light tightened his hold on the paler, bucking against the others hand but trying to stay still. The ravenette kissed the others neck and shoulder as he pushed a little harder, moaning slightly as Light's tight wall's clamped around him. The tan boy panted and made pained sounds as L pushed in harder.

Finally fully seated they started to move, the sensation of being filled uncomfortable and odd, but intoxicating all the same.

"Haa-haa-ahh-haa-!" He could feel nothing but L's tongue on his neck as he sucked and his member sliding in and out of him rhythmically.

"Ha!-E-Ellll-! f-faster~!" L complied and the bed began to hit the wall as his powerful thrusts sent Light further into insanity. L hit a sensitive spot and his vision blurred a moment, a zingy sensation darting through his body momentarily.

"Haaa!!-M-more-!E-el-!" L hit the spot again but didn't overwork it, getting Light used to being filled still.

"You know human, if you hate it so much shouldn't you tell him to stop? What is it you’re doing anyway?" Ryuk asked curiously. Light didn't answer and ignored him, so Ryuk hovered over them looking closely. "Is that supposed to go in there?"

"FUCKING SHUT UP!-HAA-!Ahh-!"

"I'm not talking Light." L responded, breathless.

"N-not you! the damn Shinigami! Ha-" Light didn't process what he had said, not caring about anything but the fucking amazing feeling L was giving him as he rammed into him. L smiled and gave Light small kisses, licks and bites on his lips, not enough so he couldn't breathe though.

The teen couldn't take it anymore, his body jolted and froze as he felt his release approach. The blond screamed sensuously into the others neck as he came, his muscles spasming in the way they released and clamped around L's own member. The older let himself go, filling Light as he moaned into the others golden locks.

Light went limp, panting as he lay motionless under L, too tired to move.

"Don't." He whispered as L moved to pull out. He wanted the feeling to stay, he feared if he was without L it would feel too empty, literally.

"Are you done?" Ryuk asked curiously. Light ignored him. "You know you basically told him your Kira right?" Light stiffened. L, noticing the change, pulled out and observed lights expression.

"Light-kun?"

"A-are you gonna turn me in?" Lights voice was a whisper and he refused to meet L's obsidian eyes.

"Maybe," Light's heart sunk. Well what did he expect? That L would forgive him for being a murderer and the two would live happily ever after? Being Kira really was sending him insane. "but I don't believe in Shinigami’s. If I'm going to turn you in I want hard evidence." Hazel met grey as Light turned to L speechless. L looked as he always did, a mess of black he called hair now dry besides the strands that stuck to his forehead from sweat, wide eyes with black bags under them. The only difference was the small smile he had as he looked down at Light.

"I am however 100% certain you are mentally insane and have delusions." The caramel blond rolled his eyes, trying to hide his slight offense. "But that’s okay since I'm 100% sure I'm hardly one to talk." L whispered and Light looked away blushing before he pushed himself up.

"We should get dressed o-" He froze as he caught sight of the appendage between L's legs. "T-That was in me!?" The sheer thought was terrifying of having something so large inside his small ass. L didn't seem fazed whereas Light was trying to make sure he wasn't bleeding, but all that was between his legs was the white of L's release slowly leaking out of him. Light looked at the sheets blushing madly. His own release was on L's chest. The sight was highly embarrassing.

"Would you like me to show you how it fit Light-kun?" L asked curiously, moving closer. Light couldn't help nodding and the other pulled him on to his lap. "Raise your hips please." Light complied, not even sure if he could survive another round. Light shut his eyes tightly as he was lowered.

"Light-kun, if you want to see how it fit you should probably watch." Light went red. L was right of course, as always. The boy swallowed a lump in his throat and avoided L's eyes as he looked down to see L's huge member's head just in his entrance. He bit his lip and L pushed in. Light couldn't believe how the other was sucked in by him, how he just slipped straight in making both moan. Light began moving up and down, forgetting his fatigue. L moved his hips upwards to meet Light's movements, making Light throw his head back and moan without restraint. Again L hit that spot that made his body shudder and his vision cloud.

"W-what- ha-w-was that-mnn-y-you hit-haa-" L looked at Light curiously and pulled out, causing Light to whimper from the sudden emptiness.

"This Light-kun?" L asked putting his long fingers back inside him and pressing the spot.

"Haaa!-mnnha!-Y-yes!-" L smiled and rubbed the spot softly.

"It's your prostate Light-kun, connected to your urethra, it can be reached from here." He pressed down on it again and Light moaned like an excited whore.

L pushed Light down on the bed, his tongue and free hand attacking the boys already red nipples. He bit down on the cherry like sweets before swirling his tongue around it, while his hand softly pinched and ran over the other.

"Haa-ah-mnnn-haa-!" L gave up lights nipple and instead moved his lips down. His fingers attacked Light's prostate as he took the boy in his mouth.

Light could feel it inside him, that familiar pleasurable knot waiting to burst.

"N-no-L-G-goonna-ha-!" L flicked Light's nipple and he screamed again, his cum filling L's mouth. Light moaned as L sucked him still, milking him of every drop. Finally L pulled away, his usual wide eyed curious expression, only now with a drop of cum on his lower lip. He licked his lips in front of Light and the white vanished. Light panted, gone limp once again, and L lay down on him, his lips by Lights ear.

"L Lawliet." L said.

"W-what?" Light asked turning his head to look at L.

"My name, Kira. L Lawliet." Light was in shock, he didn't even know how the black note book came to be in his hand. It just did. He didn't know where he got the pen from either.

L Law... That was as far as he got in writing L's true name before his hand couldn't move. What was he doing? He couldn't finish the name. He couldn't kill L. If he did all he'd have to say was L raped him so he killed him in defence, as long as he remembered to beat the others dead body first to make it convincing. But he couldn't, he didn't want to. Kira didn't even really want to. But now L had his hard evidence. Light looked at L, the other was staring at him from his chest, watching. He wasn't scared, didn't seem worried in the least. Had he given him a fake name?

"Well?" Ryuk asked. "He gave you his name, I gave you the note, gonna kill him or what?" Light just stared into L's obsidian eyes.

"I had an 84% certainty you wouldn't, Light-kun. I've already gotten you addicted it seems." He now understood why none of L's 'sweets' left, they couldn't. It was too hard. He was already obsessed with the sweetness of L's mouth and the skill of his body.

L moved closer and took Light's lips again with his own, his tongue snaking into the blonde’s mouth. He hovered over the other, both kissing passionately. The Death Note slipped from Light's fingers, as did the pen. The tanned teen wrapped his arms around L's waist, pulling him close while the others hands were buried in his golden hair. Neither heard the door creak open, but they heard the loud squeal from the intruder.

L and Light both jolted and Light moved away from L in a second, both sitting. For once L was actually sitting in a normal position.

"Light is having sex with Ryuzaki instead of Misa-Misa!?" Miss yelled, Light couldn't tell if she was angry, upset, or constipated. "T-Then!!.. C-can Misa-Misa join in?" She asked quietly with a blush pointing at herself.

"No! He's mine!" Light said, Kira shining through with red eyes trained at Misa. It seemed even the possessive demon Kira claimed L.

"Is that so Light-kun?" L asked curiously biting his nail.

"W-well I-I mean-" Light had gone pink in the cheeks again, his shoulders and ears also colouring.

"Because only a moment ago I believe you were trying to kill me?" L asked tilting his head cutely.

"That reminds me," Light said changing the subject, Kira making himself present once again, "what are the real names of all those tramps you have? Whaa-!" L jumped Light and Misa and Ryuk were left to watch as Light was devoured.

"Do you know what's going on?" Ryuk asked the girl. Misa shrugged and turned her attention back to the two on the moving bed as Light made high desperate noises.

"So, we're not killing L anymore?..." Misa asked, paying close attention to how Light was red and sweating under L, the two moving against one another. "...No? But the new world-!"

"I'll figure something else out!!! Haaaa-ahhh-!!!" Light came for the... third time? though it had been a turn off hearing Misa's annoying voice as L sent him mad.

"Hm, it seems I have found a way to control Kira." L said to himself. Kira poked his tongue out at the other and L sucked it before Light could put it back in his mouth.

"Mn-!nm-nm!-nmm-!" Misa was blushing profusely, her panties would no doubt have a dark wet spot. Her mouth was practically watering.

L pulled away from Light, giving the other a chance to breath as he got off him, lying beside the panting teen.

"So, how is Light going to make a new world?" L frowned at Misa then lay on his back looking at nothing. Light was busy panting and relishing his afterglow, looking rather irritated the blond was still present as L thought.

"If Light-kun were to kill people who actually deserved it, and not for petty reasons, and researched those he was going to end, taking into consideration their family, friends, and colleges, then I'm sure if the person deserved to die anyway I could turn a blind eye." The comment took both Misa and Light off guard. Ryuk laughed his ass off in the background.

"H-humans-!HYUK! S-so! HAHAHA!F-FUNNY!! HYUKHYUK!"

"Kira should of course consult me first though." L added.

Light jumped on the other, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug taking L by surprise.

"Can Misa-Misa join in now?!" Misa asked hopefully, her eyes sparkling.

"No!" Light/Kira yelled, holding L protectively.

Ryuk laughed so hard he fell to the ground. Still in titters he took out the Death Note, about to write the names of all the humans in the room when Misa's Shinigami appeared from the wall and grabbed his neck.

"Do that and I tear you limb from limb, then we'll see just how you kill a Shinigami." She said tightening her grip on his neck. Ryuk honestly found it hot how she threatened him. He dropped the note and pen, holding his bony hands up in surrender.

L and Light had started kissing again, their bodies rubbing together, neither caring for the three other presences in the room, which L only believed to be one.

Misa took out a camera and took three photo's in a second before bolting out the door happy with her gained treasures.

L and Light/Kira made love once again before both feel asleep heaped together, exhausted as the sun rose.

Meanwhile Light's father walked towards the two's shared room down the hall, coming to fetch them to get back to work.

**Author's Note:**

> Warned you it sucks :D hope you liked it anyway! Kudos to make me feel better about this crappy excuse for L to top!


End file.
